Marriage is a huge step in any relationship, which is why it’s important to do everything you can to give your marriage a solid foundation. One of the best ways to do this is to do premarital counseling. By going to premarital counseling, you can improve your communication and problem skills and make sure that you and your future spouse are on the same page as you step into the rest of your lives.
What Is Premarital Counseling?
Premarital counseling is a type of therapy that occurs prior to getting married, helping couples build a happy, successful marriage. Similarly to couples therapy and marriage counseling, it can help couples develop essential communication skills, identify potential conflict areas, and learn how to manage their specific relationship issues.
With nearly half of all marriages ending in divorce, premarital counseling is a very beneficial service — it is important that couples consider seeking out premarital counseling before they tie the knot. 
Who Should Seek Premarital Counseling?
A variety of couples should seek and can benefit from premarital counseling, including engaged couples and those considering making a lifelong commitment.
The benefits are virtually endless. Research has shown that it can reduce divorce rates, curb pre-marriage jitters, and set goals that lead to a long-term healthy marriage.
How Does Premarital Counseling Work?
The goal of premarital counseling is to help couples build a solid foundation for marriage and/or decide if they are ready for marriage. To reach this goal, premarital counseling employs a variety of therapeutic techniques and approaches.
If you and your partner decide to pursue premarital counseling, your counselor will want to get to know you both as well as your relationship. In order to accomplish this, they will ask questions around the following:
- Common interests and activities
- Role expectations
- Communication
- Religious beliefs
- Marriage expectations
- Budgeting and finances
- Children and parenting
- Sex or intimacy issues
If there is a particular area that they feel needs to be explored further (for example, you note that you and your partner have very different spending habits and views on money), they’ll guide the conversation in the given direction.
That said, it is important to note that signing up for premarital counseling does not guarantee “I do” will be or must be said. In fact, some couples go through premarital counseling and find it best that they do not pursue marriage, and they both go on to live separate happy, healthy lives.
What Does a Premarital Counseling Session Look Like?
The structure of premarital counseling can differ among therapists. Some prefer to first see each individual separately, which allows them to identify and understand any individual concerns or issues. Other therapists focus on the two as one entity from beginning to end.
However, once the couple begins sessions together, they then typically:
- Address any current concerns in their relationship
- Discuss expectations and hopes
- Identify how they plan to achieve those goals
- Work on building conflict resolution skills
Sometimes, premarital counseling also involves making a Couples Resource Map. This aids each partner in identifying resources that will come in handy when they face given challenges. Similarly, partners typically create a plan of action to refer to and utilize if conflicts do arise. This plan of action may involve attending a counseling session and/or referring to one’s individual resources.
Premarital counseling can be difficult; it’s not always easy to hear your partner’s concerns or negative feelings. Therefore, one should try to go in prepared for tough feedback, whilst remembering the many benefits to come.
Premarital counseling gives couples a safe, dedicated, and open space to discuss concerns and align their expectations regarding various aspects of married life such as finances, parenting, roles and responsibilities. Communicating about these aspects of marriage and partnership is essential to creating a healthy and happy dynamic between couples.
Addressing and managing differences early on in a relationship can help prevent future conflict. Often, premarital counseling can help lay a solid foundation for marriage by exploring and addressing potential issues or challenges before they become significant problems that are too charged or discordant to deal with on one’s own. In short, premarital counseling can help a couple improve communication, problem-solving, and conflict-resolution skills so that they can deal with anything life throws at them as a solid team.